Finding Serenity: Coping Strategies for Challenging Times

When I was a little girl, my aunt and uncle owned a resort. Okay, it was a pretty white rambler on the corner of a quaint street in Moorhead, Minnesota, with a pool in the backyard, three wonderful cousins inside, as well as a cute poodle named Buffy who liked to chew on long hair. To me and my three siblings, it was a resort; a place of entertainment that our family enjoyed every summer.

My cousins are a few years older than me and my siblings. We thought they were completely amazing. They loved our visits and always made us feel like we were the bomb… meaning cool, meaning fabulous.

The atmosphere in their house was welcoming and loving. Every summer, my Aunt Muriel would make fabulous Eastern European dishes and serve them on gorgeous china, including her signature grasshopper pie – a dessert that had me convinced for years she included actual grasshoppers!

Muriel is my dad’s sister. The affection between them was sweet to witness. When me and my siblings were arguing, my dad would often comment that he and his sister Muriel never fought. But she, on the other hand, said differently.

My Aunt Muriel and Uncle Leon had an absolutely endearing relationship and were married for seventy-some years before he died in 2023. On many occasions they exchanged playful banter.

I remember both my Grandma Faye and my dad often saying Muriel and Lee never went to bed angry at each other. Ever.

Of course, they were not perfect, no one is. They did have a lasting marriage grounded in love, which I found fascinating to watch. This enduring love, along with the memories I have of my time in Moorhead, Minnesota, at the best resort ever, continues to inspire me.

For instance, I’d wondered for decades if simply slipping into sleep feeling peaceful, instead of angry and afraid, was something magical.

Somewhere in my twenties I made a conscious effort to lighten my emotional baggage before drifting off to sleep. I would often pray myself to sleep. Additionally, I read the works of Khalil Girbran, Rumi, and Louise Haye.

Something magical happened along the way, setting me on a journey that I still walk today.

What’s interesting is that happiness is an actual energy.

You can be a magnet for good (happy) energy or not so good energy. The words you speak and the thoughts you think have true power.

What we see, what we say, and what we think has more to do with what we get than most people realize. Why not set the stage for the best possible outcomes in our lives?

An optimal time is before you close your eyes to sleep.

Sleep is a magical time. It’s a time of clearing, refreshing, and rewiring the subconscious mind. It can also be a time used to set our intention or program the subconscious mind, that is, if we fall asleep in a raised state of consciousness.

This is where the whole “going to bed mad” thing comes in.

Some pretty funky chemicals shoot through our body when we are in an angry state, and this can cause a chemical reaction. Our body releases stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones can trigger physiological responses such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and heightened muscle tension.

When we go to bed angry, especially if we’re unable to resolve the source of our anger before bedtime, stress hormones can linger in our system. This may disrupt our ability to relax and fall asleep, leading to poor sleep quality and potentially impacting our overall well-being.

In addition to disrupted sleep, going to bed angry can be unhealthy for other reasons:

Negative Impact on Relationships: Going to bed angry without resolving the underlying issue can lead to resentment and tension in your relationships.
Emotional Burden: Holding onto anger can have negative effects on your emotional health, leading to emotional exhaustion. It can also prevent you from experiencing positive emotions and enjoying meaningful connections with others.
Habit Forming: Thinking dark thoughts can be habit forming. So can thinking thoughts filled with light.

It’s important to note that there are circumstances in life that may never feel fully resolved. Perhaps the best you can do is find acceptance of what is to help you move forward. It’s what you do with what you get that has the most power. You are powerful!

To promote better sleep and overall health, lighten your emotional load before bedtime. Find healthy ways to manage anger and soothe sadness. This may include talking about what is bothering you as well as techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, and/or engaging in calming activities before bed such as reading affirmations.

Here are a few examples of life-affirming affirmations:

*I danced with my shadows until they became part of my light.

*I now reflect before reacting and allow my intuition to lead me toward my greatest light.

*I am a grateful willing spirit with a balanced mind and an open heart.

*I shine my light on every dark thought that arises and they turn into whispers with wings and fly away.

*Today I give birth to the beauty within. I bring forth my song, my art, and my light. I surround myself with the essence of it all and shine it out onto the world.

Remember, when times are stressful, sleep can be elusive. So become mindful of what you read, watch, see and do always, but especially before going to bed.

Uplifting poems, prayers and affirmations carry energy and that energy, when absorbed helps you radiate at a higher frequency.

When you are higher in frequency, you are higher in consciousness, so you can connect to your higher soul-self, which is the enlightened part of you. As I wrote in The Happy Medium: Speaking the Language of Intuition, “Our vibration is not about who we are, it is about how we are. Sporting a raised vibration not only brings us more joy (and all sorts of goodies!), it connects us with that big, beautiful Universal Bank of Knowledge and voilà, we are aware of, and awake to, our psychic soul-self, and the strength of our intuitive voice is amplified!”

Another theory behind affirmations is that they can bypass the critical filter of the conscious mind and reach the subconscious directly, potentially promoting its receptivity to positive messages.

Additionally, falling asleep feeling uplifted can have a number of benefits for your physical and mental well-being. Here are some key advantages:

Improved Sleep Quality: When you drift off to sleep feeling positive emotions like joy, gratitude, or peace, your body is more likely to relax and enter a deeper, more restorative sleep. This can lead to feeling more energized and well-rested when you wake up.
Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Negative emotions like stress and anxiety can disrupt sleep patterns. By falling asleep feeling uplifted, you can quiet these negative thoughts and create a calmer emotional state, promoting better sleep.
Enhanced Mood: Positive emotions before sleep can have a carry-over effect to your mood the next day. Waking up feeling more positive can set the tone for a happier and more productive day.
Boosted Resilience: Regularly falling asleep in a positive state can strengthen your emotional resilience. Over time, you may find it easier to manage stress and bounce back from setbacks.
Sharper Cognitive Function: Studies suggest that good quality sleep can improve cognitive function, memory, and concentration. Since falling asleep uplifted may lead to better sleep, it could indirectly benefit your cognitive skills.

Overall, falling asleep feeling uplifted can create a positive cycle that benefits your mind, body and spirit. In other words, it makes you sticky for the good instead of sticky for the icky.

What if there’s a whole lot of Icky going on around you?

Life on planet Earth can be stressful and today is no exception.

There may be times when the most beautiful words will not lull you to sleep; when your ability to find slumber is overshadowed by your ability to feel pain. The most impactful thing you can do is be keeper of your own light. Remember, you are responsible for your own vibration.

Every major life venture is a passage that has great capacity to offer enlightenment. We go deeper hence we go higher. The higher our vibration, the more intuitive and joyful we become.

The more joyful we become, the higher our vibration radiates.
The higher our vibration, the more love we radiate.
The more love we radiate, the more love comes our way.?

When you think about something and are filled with emotion, you radiate that vibration into the Universe and the Universe oftentimes radiates it back to you in physical form.

Knowledge is power.

Keep apprised of what is happening in the world by understanding different viewpoints. If you feel you are being called upon to hate, you may want to reassess.

Don’t let your dark places take over. Live your light.

Choose wisdom, honesty, transparency, and integrity.

We are all being called upon to shine our brightest light.

We are all related, one to the other.

Open your heart.

Feel the connection.

Shine your light and heal the world.